Rise at Sunset
rise at sunset to enter the world of darkness. Obscurity is my
friend. Not that I hate the bright light, it makes me feel
better, but it also reveals all. Yes my world has been a cold
one. The warmth of the sun and the warmth of another soul
have been fleeting luxuries. Who can understand this nocturnal
tendency into which I have fallen? Who can understand what the
curse has made me? All the doctors at the end of the day must
shake their heads in exasperation. Surely they are humiliated
and defeated as well at their inability to offer relief — but
professionalism will not allow them to say, Hey, I'm sorry, I
feel your pain, there's nothing I can do. Deep in my heart there
is purity, kindness and love but it is buried by the curse and
in its truest form cannot be expressed.
So I've built a world of fantasy, of dreams that do come
true, where no one sees the mark that has so defined me in the
physical world. Rather they see my value, my worth, my kindness,
my generosity, my compassion, my love, my soul.
can forget the shell their own eyes observe and look into my
eyes to discover my soul? Who might hold their bosom close to
mine so that our heartbeats harmonize?
The only one left to imagine, the only one left to seek
is my own alter ego, the one who has lived a parallel but separate
life seeing the same heartache from the other side.