September-October '07 | briefing | mail | interviews | articlespsorchat | psorchat review | don't say this | flaker creativity | flakers' jargon | other places | archives | send mail | ed dewkesearch | acknowledgments | legal stuff | 2007 Ed Dewke

Her Nervous Romance has Become an Engagement
from M.G.

Backstory:  (1) Can't Let a Boyfriend Get Close, (2) She Told Him!

Ed:  Hope this letter finds you well. I wrote, let’s see, almost two years ago about being in college, dating and not wanting to tell the person I was dating about my fairly extensive psoriasis. Later I wrote back that I had decided to tell him — I think I called him “Donovan.” Well, I just wanted to let you know that “Donovan” and I are now engaged!

I hate to think about the love I would've missed if I had been too scared to take that chance. He has always been so wonderful and amazingly good about my psoriasis. I know that it doesn't work out like that for everyone, but I am very thankful it did for us! We also both just graduated college!

Now we are trying to find jobs. I am also trying to get some insurance! Although my psoriasis did clear up with tanning for about a month, it came back with a vengeance and at times it is really quite painful. Even though “Donovan” is really understanding, I still feel like I have to hide from the rest of the world. It's summertime now, and I am still wearing my long sleeve cotton shirts, never exposing my feet, never showing any skin, you know what I am talking about.

It's even on the backs of my hands now and hard to hide. Sometimes I catch people starring at my hands. I wish they would just ask me about it. Maybe someday soon I will also be brave enough to just say, “Hey there! I notice you are understandably starring at my gigantic red lesions! Come closer, let me put my hands on your face!” ... Just kidding. I'd say, “Hey there! It's psoriasis! Do you know what that is?” ... Well obviously I need to work on my word choice and inclusion of appropriate statistics!

Anyway, there's my update! Thanks for everything you do. I'll let you know if I ever get a job with an insurance benefit good enough to afford some that will get me on a psoriasis-free streak — that will get me in a bathing suit on a beautiful beach somewhere in the sun. I will also let you know if I ever get brave enough to go streaking across the sand unhealed in all my polka dotted glory.

Peace, -M.G.


Ed’s Response:  What terrific news, M.G.!  I'm so glad you shared it with us.  One of the best things about having an understanding mate is the fact that, as a flaker, one's perspective on the disease changes for the better. We are suddenly convinced that the disease does NOT define who we are. Quite the contrary, "who we are" is partially determined by how we handle the disease. Having a mate who can handle it helps enormously. 

Wishing you all the best!  -Ed

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