August, '99 | Briefing | Mail | Don't Say This | Articles | Other Places | Archives | Send Mail | Ed Dewke | Legal Stuff

Insensitive Boss Drove Me to Better Job
from Becki

I just found your site and I think it is great that you offer it to us. I was told by my dad when I was small that I got P because some of us have to be a bit less physically perfect somehow to make other people look better. I never figured it out until some ass holes started asking me stupid questions or making stupid comments. I am a very strong person because of P and what I have had to deal with and the ass holes I speak of could never make it through life with what I have.

My former employer demanded from me a doctor's note approving me to work among the co-workers without being a threat for contamination or spreading of the "thing" that I had.... Well, I have a lot more money now than I did before, thanks to their stupidity.

I am sorry that I babbled on... I just never had anyone to talk to about this and I did not know that there are people like you who offer a voice on the Internet until now.

Anything I can do...let me know!!! Best Wishes. -Becki


Ed's Response: We all run into those hoofed derrieres you refer to, Becki. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and some information. Only after this exercise can I tell the REAL hoofed derrieres from the simply uninformed. For example, an employer who doesn't know about P might be concerned. At the very least, they want to know what to say to some other subordinate who might be concerned. Our disease can be terrifying to behold. Even "Night of the Living Dead-ish" during its worst moments. If I didn't itch constantly I'd have died by heart attack long ago: Itching reminds me constantly I'm a flaker. Were I to forget this, I'd likely be shocked into infarction upon seeing myself naked in the morning or at night.

A simply uninformed person—say a prospective employer—would ask about my P and perhaps want some documentation for my record. Once I informed this individual, I would expect no more trouble. Should a co-worker seem to have a problem, I would feel comfortable asking my employer to put that co-worker at ease (his authority probably being more convincing than my personal assurances). On the other hand, a hoofed derriere, upon becoming informed and knowing I was no threat to co-workers, might conclude, "Well, that's well-and-good, but you're still going to scare them, and having you around may create an annoyance-of-explanations. So, sorry: You're outta here." This attitude is, by the way, called prejudice.

In one sense I guess we're all made stronger, Becki, because we have to deal with the uninformed and the hoofed derrieres, but strength is like raw energy waiting to take form. In this case our strength could take form as anger and hate, or as awareness and compassion. You ended up in a better paying job as a result of your boss' insensitivity. You can definitely afford to rest easy in the awareness and compassion camp. Stay in touch. -Ed

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