Mail (July, 1998)

Cloistered for 15 Years
from Tim B.

Hi. My name is Tim B. Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in an AA meeting?

I stumbled onto your page last night and thought it was great. It's nice to see someone else who has a sense of humor about it.

I was blessed with the never-ending snow when I was 15 (I'm now 30) I was even kicked out of school because of it. Yeap...they told me I was "Too gross" So I ended up having to get my GED.

I had an aunt who told me that if she looked like me she'd lock herself in a room and never come out, that she'd even have her meals brought to her. I never thought that statement made an impact on me, but I guess it did.

That's exactly what I did. I sat in my bedroom for the next 15 years. Only going out to go to the doctors (or if I HAD to...like I had to move to Arizona from Ohio). Yeap, I lived with Mom & Dad until, at 30, I've moved out.

Now I think all the stress has freaked my body out. I'm having a MAJOR flair up. Or maybe it's because I CAN NOT believe I found someone who can love me for me, and not be totally grossed out by my skin.

At 20, I developed Psoriatic Arthritis, which then led to Scoliosis (curvature of the spine). I can still get around fairly well, but my joints hurt.

Since I was kicked out of school in 9th, and only had one semester of Tech schooling before the Arthritis set in, I've not been very successful at finding a job.

I keep wishing I'd go into some doctor, and he'd look at me and say "That's not Psoriasis at all, it's such-&-such. Here, take this pill it will clear right up. You'll be as good as new." But with my luck the "Good as new" will be the catch. It'll be some Twilight Zone where it means you'll be a baby again. New born baby. I don't want to have to live through this again. I almost sound bitter don't I? Don't mean to.

Well, I'm not sure why I told you all this. What bearing does it have on your life? I guess I just figured I'd vent. :-)

Have a good life. - Tim B.

*****

Ed's Response: Tim ... You kinda snuck in the good news about having found someone who loves you DESPITE the gross skin. Did you think I'd miss that? So what's stressful? Being on your own? Being unemployed? Being LOVED—at last?! Sounds like you took a 15-year hiatus from life but are catching up, fast.

I have a very low regard for your Aunt. She sounds like the kind of person who has it in for my little dog Toto. I'd like to find a way to melt her.

Your current flare up is no surprise, considering the trauma associated with being released from a self-made prison after 15 years. I imagine it will subside.

And a job will come along so long as you don't set your sights too high right now. That you've found someone who loves you means you're rolling in the kind of wealth most important. That life support system will get you to whatever comes next.

Keep us apprized! -Ed

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