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He’ll Compare Me With Other Women
from Jasmine

I enjoy this site a lot.  Everything I read makes sense to me.  Friends and family say they understand how you feel but they don’t have a clue.

I feel sorry for my boyfriend because I know he would like to go somewhere hot on holiday, but that means stripping and when you have psoriasis all over, and there’s women everywhere with soft, unblemished skin, it would be embarrassing.  Not only would I be worrying what other people are thinking, but I know he would be comparing me with the others.  It’s only natural.  After all, most men like looking at other women normally.

I probably sound like a wimp. I'm not normally, but this is a big hang-up of mine.  Just can’t help it.

But I do have to say this web site has made me laugh.

So thanks for that.  -Jasmine (England)

*****

Ed’s Response:  Well, Jasmine.  We’re entitled to our hang-ups, too.  The last time I went on one of those holidays like your boyfriend wants was the mid-eighties, a few years before I started flaking, and I took my wife-at-the-time to Bermuda.  I remember all the scantly clad people on the beaches and strolling the streets of Hamilton.  I wouldn’t initiate another such vacation today.  But, if I found myself in Bermuda for any other reason, I’d be the older gentleman wearing khakis and a broad-brimmed hat.  Depending on how my P arthritis might be faring at the time, I might also be sporting a cane. 

I hope that when you say “no” definitively to the hot weather vacation idea you explain to your boyfriend how you feel.  You may be surprised.  Perhaps he’s thought of some work-around and has been waiting for you to say something to launch the conversation.  I hope so.

If not ... well, hot weather is a great time to explore the Scottish Highlands, I’m told.  It doesn’t take much imagination to find romance in that, too.

Good luck!  -Ed

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