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No Fingernails Because of P
from Janis

I really have thought for years I was the only one making jokes about the heartbreak of psoriasis. My physician actually offered to write me a prescript for 100 Valium with 5 refills, since he thought I just had to be "totally stressed." I offered to let him hold some skin!

I am a 46 year-old female flaker who can laugh at P as well as most other things in life. Although I have had the plaque type of P since my teens, I have now developed pustular psoriasis on my hands and feet. I have lost all my fingernails. People remark on this frequently as I am a corporate trainer and the goddess of all that is good and holy in sales. When people say things to me, like "oh, poor thing, that must be so painful," I usually reply with something like, "Oh sure, the pain, but have you noticed what really nice big jewelry I have?" That's what I like to whine about. No one notices my pleasing precious stones. What is the point in being so vain about my jewels if you can't get past the fact that I have no nails?

I have even had people ask me if I bit my nails. I'm thinking: Does anybody really bite their nails all the way off? If I could use my mouth that effectively, why the hell would I be doing corporate work? With such a talent I could think of other ways to make fast money and possess more big precious stones.

Keep us laughing, Ed. -Janis


Ed’s Response: Well, Janis, as the "goddess of all that is good and holy in sales," there can be no debate about the source of your stress. And I should think the cause of your nail problem is self-evident as well: Working your fingers to the bone. And do not covet too much that talent for gnawing some mistakenly assume is yours. I hear it can be a pathway to a long list of equally irritating ailments....

I think that you should consider wearing your rocks in other places. An unimaginative suggestion would be earrings and necklaces. But I have more imaginative suggestions, too. <wink!> -Ed

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