(March, 1999)

How about A Flaker Dating Service?
from Jennifer

Hi Ed. I'm new to your site, but love it! Humor can be worth gold in our P lives. We need stress relief. How about setting up a P dating service on your site for the Flakers without partners? -Jennifer


Ed's Response: We might already have one, Jennifer. Go to "Other Places," here, for a link to Dave Keat's "Psoriasis Contact Page." While I've often mused about the sympathetic pairing of flaker with flaker, it might result in unmanageable household upkeep, depressing lacks of sympathy, and untoward complications in finding the right flaker-partner; to wit...


Gladys (a flaker): So, Diane. How'd your first date with Charlie go?

Diane (a flaker, sighing): Oh it was okay, I guess. But we'll never "get together," if you know what I mean.

Gladys: Why?

Diane: Well, I found out he's a guttate, and you know my weakness is for plaque types.

Gladys: That burns me. Dewke should have caught that right away, before he paired you two!


Larry (a normal): George! How's newlywed-dom?

George (a flaker): I don't think Becky and I are going to make it, Larry.

Larry: No? I thought it was a match made in heaven.

George: I thought so, too. But now she wants to try the Pagano diet.

Larry: No! You can't eat like that!

George: It's not that, Larry.

Larry: Well?

George: Well ... What if it works—for just one of us?


And, Jennifer, there's the issue of offspring. If flakers start mating with other flakers all over the place we're bound to strengthen the genetic code for flaking. Eventually we would become a race apart from the normals, and then there would be conflict, we'd have to kick butt and turn the normals into housekeepers. Sooner or later they'd revolt and we'd have this Planet of the Apes type of situation. Obviously, the flakers will remain superior (see link to "End is Nigh," at end) and flakers will become the first to make contact with extraterrestrial civilizations. They won't want us to visit often because we mess up their carpets.... Nah. The more I think about it, the more I think I'll let Dave Keat's bring it all about. -Ed

End is Nigh

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